Alors, petits … j’ai une question pour vous: if you are White, how long has your family been in this country?
If your family has only been here for two generations, would you consider ‘self-deporting’ back from whence your family came? I mean, you haven’t been here for very long … you still know the mother tongue of your family’s country and can surf the cultural differences, yes? You expect this from brown and black people, so, being White, you should have no problems reintegrating into a culture and a language from whence you come is, of course, no problem.
If your family has only been here for three generations, do you consider yourself to be liberal? Progressive? Conservative? Regressive? Please define, in detail, what had led you to identify as you do.
if your family has only been here for four generations, please give a detailed accounting of what your family has contributed to the American Dream of life, libery and the pursuit of happiness, in particular, how has your family supported indigenous peoples’ rights? How has your family supported new immigrants? How has your family contributed to the American economy?
If your family has been here for five generations, did your ancestors completely divest themselves from the idea of a monarchy? How deeply is your family committed to democracy? Do you still cotton to the notion that a bigger pay check means you are ‘better than’ someone earning less than you?
If your family has been here for six generations or more, what hav you, personally, contributed to the American economy? After this long in this country, you should be able to describe, in detail, all of the contributions you, your family and your ancestors have actively contributed to growing the American economy. You should also be able to itemize how much more you, personally, have contributed to modern America, than, say, a first generation White person. You should also have the family connections to trace your roots back to the colonies: as such, please identify the oldest of your ancestors to have lived in what is now the United States of America. Please, also, supply documentation of this ancestor as well as any birth records that chart your family tree.
Please note, this only pertains to White people here in the US. People who claim Latino, African, Asian (in olden timey speak, ‘Oriental’) or Indigenous Peoples’ lineage are exempt from these questions as it is assumed that only White peoples are the original ‘anchor babies,’ ‘illegal immigrants,’ and other miscreants who broached the borders of the Americas under false pretenses and for illegal activities.
Thank you for taking the time to complete this census questionnaire. Representatives from the First Nations’ peoples closest to your residence will soon arrive to repatriate any and all stolen properties, incomes and other forms of currency directly connected to how your family profitted at others’ expense.